Should I Agree To Be Patient And Wait For A Commitment Or Engagement?

I sometimes hear from women who have put a lot of time, love, and effort into the relationship with the man who they love. Often, when the relationship started, they had assumed that by this time, they would have been engaged or married. So, when these assumptions don't actually become a reality, they question their boyfriend and ask when the engagement might come. In response, they are often asked "to be patient." The woman often has no idea what this phrase means when in her mind she has already been patient and his pleas are starting to sound as if he's attempting to stall or if he has no real intention of making a commitment.

Common comments are things like: "I have been dating my boyfriend for over three years. When we first met, he was pretty clear on the fact that he wanted to finish college and start his career before he made any commitment. I understood that and this didn't deter me from getting into a serious relationship with him because I love him. Well, he graduated last year, but because of the economy, he hasn't yet been able to land the job that he wants. He has a job, but he isn't making much money. I was expecting an engagement ring this Christmas, but I didn't get one. I got a nice pair of diamond earrings but there is no commitment behind them. I could not hide my disappointment. I told him that I thought that we agreed we would get engaged once he graduated and got a job. He said he hadn't yet got the job that he wanted so he didn't feel financially ready. He asked me to please be patient with him. He says that once he is financially secure, I will get my commitment. Our relationship is good otherwise, but I think that our definition of financially secure is different. I don't need to be rich to want to be married to him. I don't care if we aren't well off. I just want to be with him and I don't understand why he doesn't feel the same way. It is starting to sound like an excuse. I have other men ask me out all of the time. Should I be patient with him? Or should I say enough is enough?"

Unfortunately, this is not a decision that I can make for anyone. Only this woman herself could decide if she still wanted to try to be patient or if she wanted to consider the offers from other men and declare that she was fresh out of patience. But what I could do was try to offer some insight and perspective on this situation which might make the ultimate choice a little more clear. I will attempt to do that below.

Ask Yourself If The Commitment Is The Only Conflict Within Your Relationship: It's very important that you take a very honest look at the relationship. Because you need to determine if his reluctance is due to what he claims or if it is something else. Because frankly, this woman couldn't control her boyfriend's job situation. Yes, she could support him with his job search, but the actual income he earned was out of her hands. So, it made sense to take inventory and to see if there was something else within the relationship that might be causing hesitation within him. If so, then she needed to control what she could and remove that obstacle. If not, then what she was really dealing with was a healthy and fulfilling relationship except for his reluctance to commit.

So her decision really came down to whether the relationship was worth the frustration that commitment issue was causing. And, she had to ask herself if she felt that he was sincere about being willing to commit once he obtained a better job. Because frankly, that could happen in the near future. And it was be sad if a brighter financial picture (and a commitment) was right around the corner but she ran out of patience before this could happen.

The Alternative To Not Having Patience: I think that it often comes down to how much the relationship means to you. If this is the only man who you want to be with and no other suitors even interest you, then you have to ask yourself if you are willing to walk away from this relationship that might not ever come again in order to declare that you are out of patience. I think that perhaps there is a better alternative to this.

You might ask your boyfriend how much income he would need to secure in order to feel comfortable moving forward with the engagement. That way, there is no longer any mystery about what needs to happen in order for you to move forward. And then you will have the information that you need to make an informed decision. But to answer the question posed, this relationship appeared to be sound and healthy. And the boyfriend seemed to be sincere. I couldn't make this decision about whether patience was the answer. But if it were me, I would ask the boyfriend to be more specific about his desired earnings and, once I had that information, I would probably be willing to have a little more patience.

Move Even Deeper Into a Committed, Loving Relationship With a Man

When it comes to women and relationships, in the beginning, most men think they want to "Have their cake, and eat it too".

No need to explain what I mean by this, because I'm sure you intuitively get what I'm talking about, and you may have experienced this with a man.

But... This is not the case with every single man that a woman meets.

Every once in awhile, a man will meet a woman and know very quickly - without a doubt - that he wants to be with her and only her. I'm talking about the situation where a man knows he wants to be with one woman because it feels right on a deep emotional level.

When this happens, the man will usually be the one to push for a long-term commitment.

And you won't have to do anything but keep being the great partner that you are, and help him with the things he wants to do, to keep you both close and together.

Sometimes though for some strange reason, the guys you don't want seem to always be pursuing you for more.

Maybe this has happened to you before... But you don't exactly know how or why it happened... Or more importantly, how to repeat it with a guy you really want...

Strange how that works, isn't it?

Your goal is getting a guy that you want, to want to be more and more committed with you!

A woman that truly captures a man's heart will:

Make a man feel, through experience, that he's better off being with you rather than being single, spending most of his time with his friends, or "sleeping around".

And...

Show a man, on a physical and emotional level, that he's better off being with you rather than any other woman he could possibly meet.

Probably not your favorite thing to hear, but most men are "designed" by nature to be able to sleep with a lot of women. Men have a "drive" that's part of their long time role in nature.

Of course, this is not the way most women were designed...

In order for you to make a man feel that he is better off being with you rather than living the "single life" and going around and sleeping with a lot of women... Or focusing obsessively on his career. You need to remind him of the benefits that a deep, connected, loving relationship brings... And unlock those hidden feelings inside of him.

Fortunately it's easy to do - especially when he already has feelings of attraction for you. You can turn those feelings of attraction into feelings of intimacy and passion.

So few women know how to help a man get in touch with this side of himself - the part of himself that all men secretly long to share - when you are the one that helps him to do it, he will automatically start experiencing a deep connection with you and want to keep it alive and growing.

This is not something you can do just by talking about it. The key is to actually get him to experience those feelings when he's around you.

The reality here is that a guy will not willfully commit to you unless you flip this "switch". And no amount of pleading, begging, withholding, etc. Will work.

When you do flip this switch and trigger these thoughts... He will be the one asking you to commit... Every time.

If a relationship isn't growing, it's usually dying... And perhaps the most important thing you need to know is to continue to strengthen the bond between you and your man,... Keep that fire of intimacy burning forever.

Every one of us dreams of one day experiencing that "storybook" romance with that special person we are meant to share our lives with...

We think about how wonderful it will feel to finally be with that person... Look into their eyes... And know that we've found the love and connection we've been searching for.

Success In A Relationship Begins With The Right Dating Community

us discuss commitment as the main factor in lasting relationships. Commitment is a word that scares many people. However, without real and sincere commitment, a relationship cannot work properly. What does commitment say It says that it will stick by you no matter what happens and it will face all probabilities together. One example of this kind of true commitment can be seen in the way parents stay committed to their children never minding their behavior or choices. You will need this level of commitment to grow a mature dating relationship. When you get married, you accept the other person as your family. It is commitment that takes you through tough times and inclement conditions. When you cross all these and come out on the other side, your relationship and commitment levels will be stronger than ever.

The other major element that contributes to the success of your relationship is Conviction. When you enter a relationship, you must know what the convictions of the other person are. Convictions are like soul pulses that drive a person to make certain decisions and statements of belief. Your subconscious reacts to situations using your convictions as impulses, just as your body reacts when you hurt yourself. Lets look at some basic issues of life. How does your partner feel about the handling of money What is their opinion about vices such as drinking and smoking Are they religious and how religious are they Is religion that important to them and do they want you to comply with theirs You need to get to know how they view the world. Are they self-absorbed or do they feel for the pain in the world It always helps to know the other persons convictions before you develop a mature dating relationship.

Humility is the make or break deal in a relationship. Its common for people to think that their way is the best. Its how we are. We all feel this sense of pride that we've figured it out and we know the way and its absolutely right. When someone disagrees with us on our set beliefs, we quarrel. We fight so that what we believe is known and understood. We desire validation from the other person. What happens when they defy you, what happens when they don't validate You fight, you get angry. This is where humility steps in. A humble person is clear enough to say, OK, I have my opinions but I acknowledge that they may not be right for you. When you practice humility, you will try to listen and understand the other persons view instead of drumming your own. Humility therefore is one of the biggest strengths in this world.

Most long lasting relationships will comprise these foundational aspects commitment, conviction and humility.

Love Relationship Advice - Make Your Man Get Committed in Your Relationship

Are you in a loving and caring relationship? Yet your partner has not committed himself to you fully. Maybe he has not asked for your hand in marriage and you have had many rounds of sex together. He is like many other millions that are phobic and afraid of commitment.

These relationship tips will make you get your man to commit himself:

1. Always make it easy for him to confide in you. Listen to whatever he has to tell you without criticizing him. He wants to be sure he is safe to tell you his problems and experiences. He may decide to tell you or ask for your advice on confidential and private issues when he realizes he is safe with you.

2. Make him feel special by showing him that you love only him. Avoid asking about his level or wealth in the initial stage of your relationship so that, he will not believe you are going into relationship with him because of his pedigree. Always congratulate him whenever he is successful and share in his pains when required. All these will make him open up unless he is secretive which is a bad sign.

3. Be natural: Try to open up and do not conceal your tastes, likes or dislikes. If you are sharing ideas and he mentions new things or names you have never heard, you need not pretend as if you know them. You should be free to express your mind. Do not put yourself under unnecessary pressure or fear by starting out with lies.

4. Let your man knows he has his freedom. Your man may feel threatened and unsecured if you want him to change his routines. Make him to understand that he can still see his old folks along. He should be made to know that you are neither taking over his life nor dictating to him.

5. Avoid making him jealous. He will see this as a device of building interest in you. He is likely to commit into the relationship if he finds out that you are loyal and faithful basically because you see him as the most attractive and charming man in the world. Do not discuss your past relationship, even if he wants. This may likely make him doubt you in future.

6. Man love affirming their senses of maleness by fixing everything in your house. Do not allow this to go far. If your man is the type that likes spoiling their women financially, do not encourage him, so that he will have a little respect for you and will not see you as a burden. Do not present yourself as a costly material. Get most of your fixing done by a hired hand.

7. After few months into your relationship, discuss meeting his relatives, friends and anyone important to him. If he agrees to do this, it simply shows his commitment, an important step into an everlasting relationship. A man that does not want to marry you will not make you interact with his relatives. He will be happy to have you as a wife when he sees how you interact with the precious very precious to him. His making you part of his social life shows his commitment towards you and the relationship.

If you use these methods with care, he will surely sing a new song that will promote your relationship to marriage.

Relationship Advice For Couples - Commitment is Easier When We Stop Taking Things Personally

Commitment is a funny word. The first definition in the Encarta® World English Dictionary describes it as something that takes up time or energy - not a very appealing proposition. The third definition says it's an activity that cannot be avoided. Yikes! The fifth definition refers to the act of confinement to a mental health facility. No wonder commitment within relationships is so tricky!

Only the second definition speaks to what we tend to mean when couples talk about commitment: devotion or dedication to a person or relationship. So, how do we wade through the other possibilities and make devotion and dedication the cornerstone of our bonds?

Let's start by looking at the negative experiences of "commitment:" we're losing energy, feeling trapped, maybe acting a little crazy. How did we get there? All too often, it's by taking things personally. You know the drill: your wife comes home grumpy from work and somehow it feels like it's your fault. Your boyfriend is stressed about a deadline, and you find yourself walking around on tiptoe. Your lover trips over the coffee table and you apologize. After another fight with your partner, you're wondering if maybe you're just no good at this relationship thing.

We can fall prey to taking things personally in any arena, but it's especially insidious in love relationships. We know this person better than anyone in the world, right? So, of course we can tell just how much their actions or reactions are really about us. But in reality we typically far overestimate our own impact - and in doing so, we sow the seeds of our own hesitancy to commit. By taking responsibility for their reactions, we inflate our own sense of importance and responsibility, but at the same time we create a losing proposition: why would we sign up for being permanently responsible for every peevish partner mood, every unfortunate incident, every failed communication or relationship snag?

How do we get ourselves into this way of thinking? Well, imagine a board meeting where all your worst insecurities have gathered to figure out how you should be running your life. Let's call them The Board of Mis-Directors. They'll tell you what you did wrong, where you're likely to fail, why others are laughing (or sneering) at you, how suspicious or angry you should be. And they will insist that you must take things personally. They yank on our need to know ourselves as significant, to know that we matter to our beloved (heck, to anyone) - sending us into spasms of worry and concern. This drama creates an illusion of importance, but let's get real: do we really want to measure our significance by whether or not our spouse is grouchy today?

In reality, taking things personally distorts our perceptions, wildly inflates our worst fears, and keeps us endlessly distracted from what really matters as we try to read meaning into irrelevant details.

The truth is: what your loved one does has astonishingly little to do with you. And that's good news!

There are so many things that affect how any one of us behaves. There's our upbringing, our culture, our personality, and our past experiences. There's the time of day, the time of the month, and the influence of the stars. There's the music we're listening to, the news we just heard, or whether or not we have a headache. (And this, as you well know, is not an exhaustive list!)

When we keep this in mind, it's much easier to remember why we're in this relationship in the first place. Chances are that you've chosen intimacy because you're interested in who your partner is - what is going on for them, what motivates them, how they see and experience the world. What if instead of taking your loved one's actions personally you paused and asked the question: "What else could be going on here?" Now you no longer have your back against the wall, wondering how you ever got yourself into this relationship and where the nearest exit is. Instead, you've asked an important question about someone you care about.

Devotion is being authentically interested in that answer. Dedication is being an honest companion, able to listen, support and challenge them in the places where their reality meets yours. Commitment gets a whole lot easier from there.

How to Use Feng Shui to Attract a Committed Romantic Relationship

If you want to meet the man or woman of your dreams this year then you should seriously consider using the principles of Feng Shui, the ancient art of aesthetics that aims to attract good vibrations or luck into the lives of people. Many people think that Feng Shui is just good at attracting wealth and materials possessions The truth is, it is s system that can enhance the life of an individual, in all aspects.

If you want a committed relationship, this ancient art can definitely help you. Just follow the tips below, and love will surely find its way to your doorstep.

1. Remove clutter from your bedroom. Clutter can affect your love life. Yes, it may sound like a far out idea but you'll understand the connection once you read more about Feng Shui principles. The presence of clutter can block the flow of good chi or positive energy that brings with it wealth, happiness and love. On a psychological level, removing clutter from your bedroom will alleviate stress and can make you feel more relaxed.

2. Make your bedroom good for two. Even of you are currently single, it will do your love life good if you will make your bedroom appear as if it is being shared by couple. This will attract love into your life and will condition your mind to be open to having a partner. If you are a guy, you may want to hide your collection of action figures or at least put them in another room.

3. Put symbols of a happy relationship in your bedroom. This means that nothing in your bedroom should represent loneliness or solitude. Always have two of everything: two candles, two flower vases, two chairs, etc. Doing this will make you more receptive to love and relationships.

These are just some of the things that you can do to use Feng Shui to attract a committed romantic relationship.

Relationship Advice for Women - Forgiveness Restores Commitment in Relationships

When our relationships are right, life is good especially when we can do what we want, when we want. But what happens when someone knowingly wrongs us and refuses to acknowledge or admit it. Our relationship with them is broken and our happiness leaves. So does our joy and peace. We want justice and refuse to be satisfied until we receive what we think we deserve. But justice seems to have lost her sense of balance. Her stumble disrupts our relationships.

Old hurts and pains surface, along with the memories and emotions associated with them. Instead of moving forward in victory, unresolved issues from the past unite with present hurts and shut us down emotionally. Until we unlock the mental prison where we incarcerate others and learn to release them through forgiveness, we are suspended in time and our relationships suffer.

Choosing to forgive someone who has betrayed, violated, abused or mistreated you is not easy to do, even if you are a Christian. Only when you choose to do what pleases God above what pleases you, will you be able to embrace the true concept of forgiveness.

What's the most awful thing someone has said or done to you? Does that event still hold you captive in the past? If so, are you willing to release the hurt, trust God to restore what the locusts have eaten, and regain an undivided soul to live in the present?

"You don't know what I have been through," you may say. It's true, I don't know what you've been through and I certainly don't want to minimize your hurt or pain. You may need professional help to resolve some painful issues in your past. Hopefully, at some point you will release the person who has hurt you in the past because you will then be free to move forward and enjoy your present.

Many people have in-law stories because of bad relationships. So do I. After choosing to forgive someone for all the anguish I endured in our relationship, I rejoiced when I heard, "Please come because I need you."

It is never easy to forgive someone who repeatedly causes you pain in your relationship. Years of unkind words and actions stoked my fires of anger and resentment. Even when I wanted to apply the words of Scripture to our relationship, one moment in the person's presence ignited my emotional embers to full blown flames.

This is only one of the many areas of forgiveness I have had to deal with in my life. This article is too short to share others. However we can take a quick look at Scripture for an example of how one person chose to handle those who had wronged him and refused to acknowledge or admit it.

Sibling rivalry can be very destructive at times. Genesis 37-50 tells the story of Joseph. His brothers sold him into slavery because they were jealous of his relationship with their father.

Potiphar, Pharaoh's official, bought Joseph and entrusted everything, except his wife, to him. Joseph obviously was a good looking man who had a tight, muscular body because Potiphar's wife got the hots for him. When Joseph refused her advances, she claimed he raped her. Of course Joseph's relationship with Potiphar was broken after being falsely accused. Potiphar had no problem throwing him in prison.

While in prison, God was with Joseph and gave him favor. The warden put him in charge of all the prisoners. Two prisoners asked Joseph to interpret their dreams. He did. One was restored to his position of honor, the other was hanged. The restored prisoner promised to tell Pharaoh about Joseph, but he didn't.

When Pharaoh needed his dreams interpreted, the restored prisoner remembered Joseph. Pharaoh was so impressed with Joseph that he exalted him to the number two position in Egypt.